Few people know the real Gavin Henson. To most, he's the Welsh rugby star with the golden boots who first found fame on the field, then in the pages of glossy magazines when he started dating Charlotte Church. The couple were famously fieryGavin Henson’s used to taking knocks on the rugby pitch, but splitting from Charlotte Church has hit him hard. Here, he tells friend Michelle Mone OBE about their heartbreaking decision to part
With his model looks, St Tropez fake tan, and just-so hair, he quickly gained a rep for being vain.
And those were my first impressions too. We first met in February while filming 71 Degrees North, a new reality show for ITV1, where we were shipped off with other celebs to spend the next four weeks living, eating and sleeping together on a journey to the Arctic. I expected Gavin to be conceited, arrogant, full of himself.
The reality couldn't be more different. He's amazingly kind, a genuinely nice bloke, and a devoted father. It makes me sad that most people don't see this side.
Today, it is talk of his children, Ruby, two and Dexter, 18 months, that reduces this 6ft, 15st tank of a man to near tears.
"Being apart from them kills me. I just have to keep telling myself it's for the best and that Charlotte and I split up for their sakes," he says, shaking his head.
We are sitting in a suite at the Dorchester hotel, the night before he allows his clean-shaven image to be roughed up for a Fabulous photo shoot. He's tired from the four-hour drive from Wales to London and being woken at 3am by Dexter. But it's more than that. He seems shell-shocked by the events of the last three months, so the theme of the shoot, meant to show a more rugged side to our rugby hero, couldn't be more apt for the pummelling his emotions have taken.
Gavin, 28, doesn't want to talk about the breakdown of his five-year relationship with Charlotte, 24. He finds speaking about his private life uncomfortable - something he admits hasn't helped the arrogant tag he's been labelled with. But he wants to stop the rumours he says were getting out of control.
"People said I was jealous of Charlotte's success as a judge on Over The Rainbow or that someone else was involved," he says. "None of it was true. I thought Charlotte and I were going to be together forever. We loved each other, but weren't good for each other.
"We were arguing a lot. Not over anything in particular, but these things build up and up. Every partnership has its problems and you work through them or you don't. I guess we didn't."
The couple had a famously fiery relationship and it was a fear of fighting in front of the children that led them to split.
"It's no secret that we weren't getting on," Gavin sighs, "But we didn't want to drag it out for another couple of years. I couldn't have the children being five or six years old and crying because we were arguing. I wouldn't want to tear the family apart then. That's horrible.
"I'm not from a broken home; it's the last thing I wanted for my kids. But I just knew it was going to ruin their lives if we'd carried on. I don't want them growing up with issues. By doing it this way, when they're young, they'll grow up thinking it's normal to see Mummy some days and Daddy the others. It was a brave decision, but a sad one."
'We were hugging and crying'
Gavin says that, like many relationships, theirs ran its course. Although their arguments were passionate, there was no final nuclear row. When the end came, they were tired of fighting and sat down to talk instead.
Gavin's priority is now his children
"It was Monday, April 26, just a few weeks after I got back from filming the show. The kids were watching Cbeebies and Charlotte and I were sitting on the settee in our kitchen. We'd already talked about splitting and we finally decided then that it was the best way forward. We were hugging and crying. I think both of us were thinking: 'Is this really the best thing?' But we knew there was no going back."
During our filming in Norway, Gavin was strong and confident, so watching him in pain is excruciating. At times his voice strains with emotion. The split is still so raw, but family and friends have rallied around him. He spent a couple of nights at his parents' house in St Brides Major and some on the boat he and Charlotte own in Swansea Marina.
There were tales that Gavin then jetted off to Benidorm on a boozy boys' holiday. This rumour raises a wry smile from Gavin.
"I didn't go to Benidorm! I legged it to Alicante for a training holiday. The paparazzi were everywhere and I had to get away. I took one of my mates and my agent. I didn't drink and I wasn't out to party."
Since becoming single, Gavin's been accused of going 'on the pull' and there have even been rumours suggesting we are more than just good mates - in fact, I'm a happily married mum of three! But women are the last thing on Gavin's mind.
"Meeting someone doesn't even enter my head at the moment," he says. "Before I met Charlotte I wasn't a player, so I'm not going to start now."
In fact, Gavin confesses that Charlotte was his first serious relationship. The pair got together in 2005 when Charlotte sent him a text congratulating him on Wales' Six Nations win against England - they went on to win the tournament and the Grand Slam, with Gavin being heralded as rugby's new shining light.
"I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I was pretty happy with my life, with rugby and my mates. But then Charlotte came along. I phoned her after her text. We had a night out in Cardiff and that was that. We more or less lived together from day one," he remembers.
"She was different from other girls. She had talent; I was blown away and proud to be with her. We were complete opposites, but opposites attract don't they?"
'I wanted loads of kids'
An intense relationship followed and Charlotte and Gavin became the Welsh Posh and Becks. But as Gavin's personal life blossomed, his promising rugby career was blighted by injury. A torn Achilles in 2007 dashed his World Cup dreams, and despite a return to fitness in 2008 when he helped Wales win another Six Nations Grand Slam, he's spent almost all of the last 18 months on unpaid leave from his rugby union club, the Ospreys.
By his own admission, Gavin, who has amassed 31 international rugby caps, was frustrated and lost all passion for playing.
"I'd had enough of the game, I had no will to train. I'd had a run of injuries for two or three years. I'd be out for seven months, then come back for a month and get injured again. I'd been training for 10 years and my body needed a break. There is only so much sport rehab you can do.
"Rugby is such a full-on job. I wasn't depressed but I wasn't enjoying it. And with Charlotte wanting to go back to work again, that made the decision for me. I wanted to concentrate on being a good father. So, while Charlotte was doing her song writing in Nashville or in the bar at the bottom of the garden, I'd be looking after the kids, because at the end of the day I want her to do well."
As Charlotte threw herself into preparing for her TV comeback - she lost over 3st getting back in shape for Over The Rainbow - Gavin says he has no regrets about taking a backseat.
"No way. It's the best thing I've ever done. In rugby you're lucky to get three or four highs a season; with your kids you're getting a high every day - from Ruby learning a new nursery rhyme to Dexter learning to throw a ball."
Gavin celebrates Wales' Six Nations victory in 2008
I tell Gavin I think people will be surprised to know he was a house husband for a year and that he's just at home changing nappies as he is kicking penalties on the pitch.
He laughs: "Before I met Charlotte I never thought about having kids, but now it's so natural to me. After we had Ruby I wanted loads of children, but sadly it hasn't turned out that way. Charlotte gave birth to both the kids in the kitchen and I cut the cords - it was mind-blowing. The kids still blow my mind every time I see them. I'll always love Charlotte for having our two unbelievable, beautiful kids.
"Every morning I'd get up, make breakfast and take them to see our goats and pigs. At bedtime I'd read them stories. I'm not the best reader, but I try.
"Ruby is going to be so spoilt. She's got me wrapped round her little finger. And Dexter is amazing too. Before I went to Norway he wasn't walking, but when I came back he ran to greet me. I cried then, the first time since I broke my leg aged 17. I missed them so much I thought: 'I'm never going away for that long again'."
'I changed while I was away'
It was the children that inspired Gavin's proposal on Charlotte's 24th birthday in February. "I think if you're a family it's only right you all have the same name," he explains.
He organised a helicopter to take the couple from their 20-acre home in St Brides, Mid Glamorgan to a water-side hotel in Truro, Cornwall. He proposed with a two-carat heart-shaped diamond after telling her: "We've had good times and hard times, but I think we're meant to be together now for the rest of our lives." Sadly, that wasn't the case.
"People may think it's strange we split up so soon after our engagement. It was a genuine proposal, but things changed."
Charlotte and I are complete opposites
In truth, Gavin will admit that he was the one who changed and that it was the reality show on which we met that did it. I don't think any of us came back the same. Cut off from your family and the outside world, you have no choice but to contemplate the bigger picture.
"It was one of the best experiences ever," says Gavin. "I had time to think about everything - my life, rugby, my relationship. I guess I re-found myself. I realised I wasn't very happy before I went away. I was suddenly back in a team environment, which is what I loved about rugby. I realised I wanted to play again. I got my passion back - for everything."
Charlotte has now moved out of the £1.2million family home and into a six-bedroom property in Cardiff, 30 minutes' drive away. But although Gavin is keen to start a new chapter of his life, he has no intention of selling the house.
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"I love that house. Yes, there are memories there, but they're great memories. My two kids were born there. I'll never leave. I'll die in that house. Then Ruby and Dexter will have it and hopefully they'll feel that it's just as special. I keep all their toys there. It's good for them to have continuity."
With fellow rugby singleton and friend Danny Cipriani
Gavin sees the children three or four times a week. But being apart from them is the toughest part of his new life.
"The house feels empty. I miss the noise," he shrugs. "It's not nice sitting there with all the toys around you. I speak to the kids every day on the phone and I talk to Charlotte every day. Annoyingly, our relationship is better now than it was when we were together. It's like we've got that respect back for each other."
I have to ask him if there's any hope of reconciliation, counselling even. But he shakes his head sadly. "There's no going back. There's too much water under the bridge."
He knows there will come a time when Charlotte moves on and another man will become a part of his children's lives, but he doesn't want to think about that yet.
"Whatever Charlotte gets up to, it's her life now. But yeah, it will be difficult where the kids are concerned. I'll just have to be strong. I'm not looking for a new relationship and I'd have thought it's the same for Charlotte. I hope we'd tell each other before we got pictured with anyone."
'Being a dad is my priority'
Gavin's keeping busy "reverting to type": throwing himself into his training, his kids and losing himself in his iPod. We got treated to a range of songs from his playlist while we were away, and I can confirm they're pretty cheesy for a rugby player. Gavin hangs his head in shame and laughs. "It's true. Milli Vanilli's Girl I'm Gonna Miss You is getting a lot of plays right now..."
As for future plans, there are rumours he's being lined up for the next series of Strictly Come Dancing...
"I can't dance unless I've had a few drinks," he says. And when I point out that the dancers are all partial to a bit of fake tan too, he jokes: "At least I'd fit right in then."
But it's rugby that takes priority and Gavin has his sights firmly set on next year's Six Nations and World Cup.
I'm not looking for a new partner
"I've never played in a World Cup and I'd love Ruby and Dexter to watch their dad. I know people retire at 32 or 34, but I think I could play on for a while because I look after myself."
You can say that again! Gavin is training six days a week but he's still a stone short of his 16st fighting weight. He's not sure where he'll be playing next season, but he hopes he will be with the Ospreys again. What is certain is that he's not going to follow his friend Danny Cipriani to the southern hemisphere.
"Staying close to my kids is my priority," he says. "If it didn't work out at the Ospreys maybe I would have to look to England, or perhaps France. But being a dad is the most important thing to me. If anything good comes out of the split then it's that I can become an even better father and appreciate Ruby and Dexter even more." Celebrity Rehab: Season 3
Whatever the future holds for my pal Gavin, there's no doubt that is one goal he's sure to achieve.
Michelle Mone is donating her fee for this article to charity.
Gavin gets down and dirty for our shoot
GETTING HEN-SOME
So Gavin, would you say you're vain?
Well I suppose if vain is looking after yourself, making a conscious effort to look good, then yeah.
What's your beauty routine?
At the moment I'm using La Prairie products. They're expensive but they're good! I use the moisturiser and a £180 eye cream. I try not to shave too often. It's not good for my skin, so I try to keep it to a minimum.
When did you first shave your legs?
When I broke my leg at 17, it was in plaster for months. My leg got so skinny and the hairs grew really long. It was gross. When the plaster came off I was like: "Oh God, I feel sick!". So I shaved it, and now if I see hair on my legs it takes me back to that moment. So I keep shaving them.
Fess up Gavin, do you shave your chest?
Yeah. I haven't got a really hairy chest but I do shave it sometimes. I tried waxing my legs but that killed.
How often do you fake tan?
It's just for nights out, or if I'm looking a little bit tired. I don't use it all the time. But St Tropez is best.
Does it get to you when people say you look orange?
I think it's kind of racist, isn't it? It could be my natural skin colour, and they're having a go at my skin colour! Personally I don't think I look orange.
Do they rib you in the changing rooms?
No, they're all fake tanning themselves! I'm just a bit too honest about it.
How long does it take you to get ready on a night out?
Probably an hour and a half.
Did you used to take longer than Charlotte?
Sometimes. If she wasn't doing her hair and making an effort, than yeah, definitely.
I wouldn't have thought so, but who knows? I wouldn't want any cosmetic surgery or anything like that. To be honest, I'm looking forward to growing old gracefully!
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